Hello everyone, it’s finally time for a new post on the blog again and I do hope that this finds you in good health wherever you are. I’m doing quite well myself.
So your girl turned twenty-four about 3 months ago (hip hip hip!!! Hurray !!!!!!) Glory be to God for life and everything there in. I really wanted to put up a birthday post (sort-of) around that time celebrating life and sharing with you all how everything went but unfortunately I couldn’t fulfill that wish. I mean no pressure but a girl was struggling to come up with something decent. Well, a few months have gone by and I want to share some life updates with you all. You know, being twenty-four and all.
The days/weeks before my birthday are usually a cocktail of various feelings and thoughts. On one hand I’m grateful for life and the journey so far and I want to celebrate it in appreciation of all the work that has brought me here and the sure grace of God. There is also the excitement of knowing that Liliana (the roomie) will either bake one of tasty cakes for me or order one online coupled with all the presents my girlfriends will be bringing my way. And oh the satisfaction of knowing that with a new age comes some level of emancipation from parental control…Hallelujah! On the other hand though, I just don’t want to make a big deal out of the whole thing; it’s just another day after all. Thankfully I didn’t succumb to the later thoughts and as a result, had quite the day I wanted.
So you know how people usually say “age is just a number” and all? I don’t know about you guys but it hardly ever feels that way for me, not relationship-wise or life in general. I’m of the opinion that the older you get, the more responsibilities you tend to have to yourself (present and future), your family and the society as whole. And so transitioning from age 23 to 24 suddenly feels like I may have aged by a decade and not by a year. I find myself in a place where I think that if I don’t make the right decisions/plans, I would probably be dooming my future- and not like in the movies/novels or where things eventually fall into place for the characters before the story ends but like for real for real and it’s scary.
I’m currently in my final year of medical school and will be going home come July next year God willing. A fact that has me just as excited as it has me anxious. I am excited to meet my family again after so many years and also reunite with old friends but I’m also anxious about what awaits me back home when all the excitement settles. With less than a year left it feels like I need to get my life together i.e have plans for how I want things to go and how to sustain those plans. I’m talking about making the right financial decisions, where/when to do my internship, write my licensing exams, furthering my studies etc. It’s as though I need to make the life-changing decision that will either make or break me now, and while no one in particular is actually putting these pressures on me, I’m doing a good job of it all on my own. Sometimes I wish I could have a sneak peek into my future so it can influence my choices now. “Will I be ok?” “Will things work out?” … are but a few of the silent questions I ask God every now and then.
Funny thing is that things don’t always go as you plan. I have realized that no matter how many plans and back up plans you make, you can’t factor in all the variables and so things sometimes happen that can just change the course of everything either to your greater advantage or leave you at a complete loss. I saw a post once that said, “don’t take life too serious, you’ll never make it out alive”…. Who can argue that? I have these conversations with myself and I tell myself I don’t just want to survive life, I actually want to live it; every second of it. I mean there is the fear of not planning for the future enough but there is also the fear of not living enough in the present. Balancing between these fears then becomes the daily challenge.
As if to answer my prayers and to help with this post, we had an after-service discussion in one of my church groups on the topic, “life after 24”. We discussed certain things that we felt a person should work on to better manage life. I did more of taking notes than I did contributing but I have decided to share some of the points I noted down with you all, in no particular order.
- Chastity .
- Set priorities right ( Time management).
- Consult others in decision making.
- Have future plans and work towards them
- Take responsibilities for your actions and inactions.
- Learn from the mistakes of others.
- Let go of fear and trust in the wisdom of God.
Personally, I have a few of these points under control but there are still others I need to work on and I’m sure there are a lot more some of you could add to the list so please do share them in the comment section.
If you are at this point thinking that I’m an over-thinker then my dear you’re absolutely right. I have conversations with myself a lot, to reflect about my life, question myself on some decisions I make etc etc … more like self-therapy. I was on Instagram some months ago and I saw Uche Jumbo (a nollywood actress) post a photograph of Kate Henshaw (another nollywood actress) on her page celebrating her 40th birthday and I thought wow! She could’ve fooled me. I guess black really don’t crack huh! (wink). I went on Kate’s page to see more pictures of her birthday and I saw posts of her dancing with other actresses like Ini Edo and Rita Domnic and they all looked so happy and so full of life. So I asked myself, “Abigail, why do you think you have to make all the right decisions now?” Sure, at this point/age there are certain things which matter now, and I have to concentrate on those, but maybe they won’t even matter when I’m 40. Every day, every year so long as I’m alive, I’ll have to keep making decisions so why do I think I have to perceive my whole life’s needs now and solve them? “Tomorrow will take care of itself, enough for today are its own troubles.”
Maybe I don’t have to have where I’ll be at age 40 totally figured out at age 24 but I do have dreams and aspirations, I know where I want to be in the next few years and even if the future is uncertain, I need to work towards that. It is true that life is filled with many variables which we can’t even begin to perceive let alone identify, but it’s also true that there is one constant in this equation- GOD- and He’s on my side. So at 24, I know I want to keep working on my relationship with God, I know want to continue being celibate even though it gets tricky sometimes, I know I love my online business and I hope to have an actual shop soon, I know I want this blog to grow and I want to get better at writing so I can publish a book or two and maybe some scripts before I die, I know I miss my family and I can’t wait to see them again, I know I want to further my studies and also practice in Ghana, I know I want to be really rich and most of all I want to be happy. The list may not be the same next year or even tomorrow but today this is my list and so today I have to work on these.
I’m not insinuating that all these pressures just popped up once I turned 24, no please (lol)… I wouldn’t want to scare anyone. I guess it’s more about the phase of life I’m in now and the things I expect of and for myself. I’m quite certain that to most of you these concerns may be primitive or mere moles to whatever mountains you may be dealing with currently. I sometimes think so much and make all these plans and then realize later that I left no space for God or His plans for me and I find myself wishing that He won’t do/allow anything to ruin them. But who am I kidding right? God’s plans trumps man’s plans always. It is hard to trust God’s plans sometimes, especially when you can’t think of any better plans than what you’ve come up with but I’ve decided (trying actually) to work on my plans and trust in the wisdom of God to let things work out. “For I know the plans I have for you…” “All things work together for good, to them that love God and are called according to His purpose”.
To focus on life and panic at all the uncertainties of the future is to forget about the present and all the wonderful gifts of today. Work hard towards the future you want but don’t forget to live and enjoy today as you have it. Take life one day at a time. Of course, some days are better than others and sometimes a bible verse, a sermon, a whatsapp post, or the words in a song are just the encouragements I need to get over the gloom and look to the future with renewed hope.
So perhaps when people say age is just a number, what they’re actually trying to say is that the number that is your age doesn’t necessarily equal the experiences or the responsibilities that makeup the person you are. Either ways, what do you think? Is age really just a number? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section. Don’t be a stranger.
Till we meet again… forever your girl.